By Laura Yates
URSULA was usually prepared for any social situation. Yet when she arrived home and found the beast sitting gormlessly on the living room carpet, she didn’t quite know what to do.
Eight hours later she was greatly rueing her decision to offer it a cup of tea; it had seemed the most appropriate thing to do at the time however now her cupboards were empty, she was tired and there was no prospect of going to bed any time soon.
She had laughed at all of the beast’s jokes, feigned interest even when it recounted a particularly boring story about its toenails and excused the creature when it did not show any interest at all in its host or her beautiful Georgian three-storey terrace – but how does one extricate one’s self from a socially exhausting situation when said situation is happening uninvited in your own home?
Ursula found that her only recourse was to pick up a large rifle and shoot the beast until it was quite dead, vowing to be a much less convivial host in the future.
© Laura Yates 2016