By Nadia Kingsley
WELCOME to Eclectic Reads – a monthly book review blog .
This month’s book is not for the faint-hearted. In fact – look away now if you feel whoozy at the sight of blood or at the whiff of foul play.
For this month’s book is called: ‘Getting away with the murder of loved ones’, and it’s a bit like those old Ronseal ads, in that ‘it does what it says on the tin’.
The introduction explains why Rebecca Nightshade (a pseudonym if ever I heard one…) has written this book. She says that in the current economic climate young people of around the 18 to 25 years age range are struggling with the weight of enormous debts: run up by university charges, by extortionate rents, or by enjoying youthful occupations – and are being held back by the high street banks who – after the recent crash – are still refusing to back any of the young’s fledgling business ideas or offer them 100% mortgages to get them on the property ladder, as was their way in the not-too-distant past.
Meanwhile, the older generation are the ones with the financial security and homes they actually own – but they are living longer and often, now, need full time care in nursing homes and such like. And so the money that would have been handed down to their loving family once they die is often being ‘squandered’ on keeping them comfortable in their dotage.
This, Nightshade argues, is a sorry state of affairs. It benefits no one but the care and nursing home sector. She goes on to say that if the elderly relative could be murdered without fear of being caught, by a friendly face, before they become trapped within one of these institutions, then everyone in the family would benefit – including the so-called murder victim who only wants the best for their family.
Nightshade continues this theme through to her first chapter which she has called “Keeping it in the Family”, by saying that as successive governments have refused to ‘grasp the nettle’ of legalising euthanasia, it is time for the youth of this country to step up and be ready to do what is needed – to secure for themselves a more positive future.
There are chapters on “The Fatal Moment”, ” Two for the price of One”, “Must do’s and Must don’ts”, “Dealing with Probate”, and “Funeral Etiquette”, amongst others.
But my favourite chapter of all is titled: “Inspired by the NHS”, and it is from this chapter that I lift this month’s extract. Enjoy
from the book “Getting away with the murder of loved ones” by Rebecca Nightshade –
” Research is key in planning a good murder. And the internet is full of handy hints. But do be aware that it is absolutely impossible to wipe your browsing history. If you are compelled to Google and open websites willy nilly – on poisoning and such like – then BUY YOURSELF A SEPARATE PHONE, ideally off the back of a lorry – and THROW IT IN A VERY DEEP LAKE once you are done with it.
OR do what I suggest and pursue your research (if it can’t be found within these pages) on legitimate websites that won’t arouse an ounce of suspicon if you are called in for questioning by the police.
My favourite website for this is www.nhs.uk. At the end of this chapter you will find other suggestions. It is not an exhaustive list – just ones that I have found useful along the way.
Under their heading FALLS you will find this very useful advice:
In the UK falls are the most common cause of injury-related deaths in people over the age of 75. Older people are more likely to fall because they have
- balance problems and muscle weakness
- poor vision
- a long term illness such as heart disease, dementia or low blood pressure which can lead to dizziness and a brief loss of consciousness
A fall is also more likely to happen when
- the floor is wet or recently polished such as in the bathroom
- the lighting in the room is dim
- rugs or carpets aren’t properly secured
- the person is reaching for storage areas, such as a cupboard, or is going downstairs
- the person is rushing to get to the toilet during the day or the night
This webpage, situated as it is – on such a well-regarded website, is a great example of how freely available advice on how to prevent a death, can be subverted by someone with a murderous intent into causing the exact opposite.
Why not try scribbling down a few scenarios that would work for you, now, off the top of your head… Of course you need to know the intended victim’s routines and home layout well, and have regular access to their home, to put any of these ideas into action. But lets just start with getting your creative juices flowing. Later chapters will focus on the details…”
You will find this book is a comprehensive guide to all that you have ever wanted to know about murdering a relative, but were afraid to ask.
I give this book five stars. It is informative, and clear. At no point is it patronising. I have no practical use for it at this stage in my life, but wish it had been around when I was a penniless twenty-something. It would make a great gift – but don’t whatever you do give it to your children or grandkids – they may get ideas! So, as always I leave it to you to decide whether this book is for you.
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“Getting away with the murder of loved ones” by Rebecca Nightshade costs £9.99 and is published by Mixed Up World, an imprint of Albatross Books. An ebook will be coming out in the spring
One last bit of advice! … Best buy it with cash from a bookshop. I’ve been into a few – some have it in their reference section, others under humour.
© Nadia Kingsley 2016